confession box

"I just wanted to say that I have a crush on you....." nah deleted it all....typed yet again, saved it in my draft box ...but again deleted...and finally wrote it in as few words as I could.

omigawd! I could'nt be doing this! Was I doing it? I mean should I? should'nt I? damn...but she's my friend....she should understand... I am sure, she too would have done this, if could have been in my place and me in her place.....and I wasnt even saying that I wanna grow old with you or something. Imagine me saying this to a gal. Noways. I am not a nutcase or retarted. Atleast at this age.

Yeah so, telling a gal that you have got hots for her is no big deal right?

Wrong.

coz she is actually seeing another guy.

Horribly this occured to me after I sending the message.

"what the hell was I thinking". Ok, that was totally stupid, totally dumb and evil and definetly not at all required.

I only prayed that the message should not get delivered even if it got, she should simply laugh over it and thats it.

But the next second, the reply did come and that almost killed me. She said that her friends had her phone and now they are all rolling over the floor.

First thought: Have a plastic surgery, leave town, get a new identity and always remain mysterious and silent about my past. Just wanted mother earth to swallow me in.

Second thought: Well atleast they were laughing.

Awkward moment! Really awkward. Now how do you assume me to get out of this alive and think as if nothing had happened? I just acted like as if it was no big deal. She was sweet enough to understand. So a few messages later I diverted the topic elsewhere to a more interesting topic. Phew!!!

Eversince I have been feeling horrible. Not coz of what happened, but more coz of what is happening. She hasnt messaged me after that.

May be it that or may be I am simply over reacting.!!

So I am here at the confession box:::bloggers.com. Hopefully after I publish this, I am gonna feel hell lot better.

Well in my defence I would just like to say that "its no big deal".

Anyone would agree that I have said way crazier things to gals. Like trying to sing thier favourtie song or trying to deliver a dialouge from the latest movie I would have seen. And compared to them, this was way sweet and decent. Guess the learning from my past. hehe;)

But still this guy sitting next to me, kept giving me weird looks.

I had no answer.

I was still sitting there....guilty and still giggling my head off lost in thoughts.

I hope this cute and small situation I share with her doesnt change. Ouch that would hurt.

I hope I find a nice gal to go on a few dates with her (only that all this gets erased off her mind).
hmmmmm......

My work is done here.
I am pretty much sure after she actually reads this, she'll shake her head at me for being such a kid and message me:
"my god thinking so much about it! chill!!!!"