Baisers volés

My foot has gone numb, dancing for the past four hours, and on top of that I have this new Levi's shoes, which I know are tight for my leg, but still had to put them on so that it could all match with her dress code. After all it was a couples special eve.

We reach the apartment, I park the bike in the parking.

Heart Beat -- 220 per/sec. My heart almost sinks, as I know there will be her mother and brother upstairs, and we have to go being all polite and nice in front of them..... not carefree or bindaas anymore... and not even romantic slightly. Not that we are going around and dating, but atleast heading towards it.

The very thought of climbing the stairs make my legs all the more numb and ache, though her flat is just on the first floor. I sigh.

Is your tongue still heavy ?? She asks

We just had our coffee @ kalmane and mine was really strong and bitter and without sugar - the perfect way I like it - but with two scoops of Vanilla on it. My tongue had become a bit numb in the cafe with all that extra vanilla toppings, and we had had a big laugh with me trying to spell my name correctly.

No ! It perfectly fine now and it doesn't stay that way a long time.

Really ?? She asked .

Yea ! I said

"How about we find it out". She says

And the next moment she threw me to the wall and is kissing me like there is never going to be a tomorrow.

I am zapped.

I lose balance.

She is still on me, pushing me to the wall.

I am breathless.

She let go of me, looks into my eyes and a wide smile.... only for a second.... her smile one of triumph, challenge, extremely joyous, all at the same time...

She again start to walk upstairs as if nothing had happened.

And I am left begging for more.

Nothing Official bout it ~

Did anyone ever step back and think of this: Why is it that we simply lose touch with the best of people we meet and stick to some whom we really don't want to.... ? Some people just tend not to get rid off in spite of the various and thousands of happenings where come in our lives for a short period and vanish so quickly as we'll never see them again.

Do you believe in karma? Fate? Destiny? Luck? I do… I think everything that happens in our life has at least a little to do with either or all of these things. At least the part about meeting the right people at the right time – or even the wrong ones at the right time – at least the part about who we meet in life, get in touch with, befriend or don’t has got a lot to do with either or all of these things.

What triggered me to rant about all these things right now, you ask/wonder? Like everything else – or most other things – that I rant about it, this train of thoughts was triggered by what me and a friend of mine went through recently…

She was an online friend... but someone I went to school with for a couple of years, until she changed school. We were pretty dormant for a while... there in each other’s friend-lists, but conspicuous by our absence in each other’s scrapbooks – which is to say we hadn’t really ever had a conversation, or so much as even exchanged a few words online. Then one day we just hit it off – just like that – and got along so well, we wondered why we hadn’t done this before!

Now in a short time we got along really well – with similar interests, same zodiac signs, roughly the same attitudes in general, same experiences as school kids... you get the drift, ya? Then one day she told me about this friend of her that she had had a big row with and was not talking to since a very long time. I having gone through similar situation just a few months back, felt really bad for the two of them. With considerable possibility of sounding like a Grandpa, or like a ‘been-there-done-that’, I am going to say that, I know what it is like to lose a best friend. So I kind of tried to persuade her to talk to this friend. Of course I didn’t do it too passionately, just a little elbowing, if you know what I mean... but nonetheless, it worked. The next time her friend was online, my friend spoke to him, and they spoke and spoke and spoke. And the bitterness dissolved somewhere in between, and they became friends again.

And as if that completed my role in her life, the very next day my friend sent me an e-mail, to which I gave a strange funny reply, and then we had a fight, and she chose to break it up. And I didn’t resist.

It seemed so strange to me at the time it happened, that I didn’t know what to make of this whole thing. The way I had reacted to his mail was not me – that person writing a reply to his mail was not me. The person who spoke to her when she called after reading my mail was not me. The things I said were not my thoughts! It was incomprehensible. I don’t give up on people so easily, never on friends at least! But with her, I let go like I never knew her.

As you sow, so shall you reap; tit for tat; karma – there’s a lot of ways to say it, but it all means the same thing. But sometimes it is beyond our control to explain things that happen around us, things that happen to us. I have had and lost some of the best friends life can give anyone... but one thing I have learnt from all this is to not feel bad if at some point of time, someone just drifts away from you – or rather when people leave – and to not try and hold on to them when they do drift away or leave. Of course there is a difference between trying to make a friendship – or any relationship – work out, and to cling onto something that’s already not working out. We are all after all instruments who carry out, work for and work against each other’s destiny’s... all of it, or part of it. Sometimes people enter in our lives only to make us experience or face or go through something, and that is all that their role is in our lives... our paths stick along as long as this purpose is fulfilled, and then, life just moves on. Sometimes we are meant to be cheated by our most trusted people, or be surprised by the most unexpected… or even be loved by the ones that we never thought would give us a thought, or someone we’d never give a thought to ourselves... that’s just how it is, nothing official about it!

But if there’s someone out there, keeping an account of all this, phew! He’s gotta be one hell of a mathematician..

She drives me crazy !!!

My pen falls down from my hands. I stop writing.

 

The breeze along with it, brings a peculiar smell, that I am getting used to these days.

 

I inhale. I sniff. I breathe.

 

I just cannot believe it. 

 

I just could'nt believe my nose. ;)

 

My heart starts racing.

 

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and continue inhalong until my lungs are filledwith the smell. I take a deep long breath, until your smells fills my head and drives me crazy. It was the typical smell that you have, anyday anywhere, anyhow.

 

I breath again. I forget all about the work that I am supposed to do. Its just the smell that am with and the sense of you being near by.

 

But it could'nt be.

 

Or is it that your love has driven me crazy that now I have even started imagining you in real. No ways it could'nt be so.

 

How could that be !!

 

But the smell, it refuses to go away.

 

I now get up from my chair and tip toe towards the door and my heart begin to race faster and faster.

 

I open the door.

 

The smell  now hits me harder.

 

I am sure by now that my olfactory has gone haywire.

I track the smell to my parents’ room.

My parents’ room?

I reach for the door.

I open it.

My heart stops beating

“Hey, you up already?” Dad asks, looking at me.

“What’s that smell?” I ask.

“You like it? One of my friends gifted it to me,” Dad says, throwing a bottle of cologne at me.

I catch it.

I open the lid.

I smell it.

I close my eyes.

I smile...

 

South park is back

After a wait of almost 6 months South park, season 13 is back with a bang. Now its two weeks down and it has as usual come out with the best two episodes. 

The first one being on the Jones brothers, the disney stars who just happend to have two major releases, Camp rock and the 3D experience show. The way matt and trey parker took on the issue was really wow ! I mean the way these two guys take on the issues is simply superb. 

The best part of the episode was the Love side of kenny. Yes Kenny finally found a girlfriend, who also happens to be poorer than Kenny. 

My favourite part of the episode was when Cartman tells kenny about the Bj thing about the girl and the way kenny jumps in the air. Simply kewl.

The 2nd episode was hilarious. I love to hate Cartman. He in this episode had dressed up like some batman and calls himself the Coon who is the only one who protects the entire city of southpark when the whole city is asleep. 

He wants this superhero to gain a personality status but poor cartman, no one even listens to him. And he inspite of dressing up like the coon,  everyone recognises him, just coz he is FAT.

But just when everything was going good, there emerges another Hero, who calls himself the Mysterion. The Mysterion still remains a mystery and no one knows who actually that was and in the end when the Mysterion figure is revelaed, it was just some silly 4th grader.

I simply love the way Matt and trey take on every issue. They address the issue but its all in a different way and yeah I simply love it all the more and day by day I  am just going ga - ga over southpark

It is a long way to go. Just wishing it all the very best and wish more and more such episodes keep coming and we keep loving all the more.

Screw you guys... I'm just done with my new blog for the new season.

Should it matter

I really wonder, what you could be doing this very instant.

This very moment I am thinking of you. Are you too thinking of me?

Are you missing me the way I am missing you?

As I lay dead, awake this night in this dark room, I think of of just you and all that happened between us these last few weeks. 

And I just smile.

It seems to me that we both are the ONE for each other. So what if we both had been in a relationship before,, but we have never felt more alive in them as we do in this. We speak so openly, so freely as if like we have found an outlet to our thoughts. We both have found an fond listener to our thoughts.

I just think about you.

The moments we had shared together, the good old jokes we cracked together, the relation we shared together.

And I smile.

We met at a stage where we both were shattered, broken and wanted someone to hangon to. Someone we could trust, someone we could rely on. We both had been hurt, by our respective first's

It was then we found each other. We needed each other. We realized it then, but then feared the repetition of history.

......and we never wanted that to happen so gave pur hearts a feel that we could still remain the best of friends.

And so we explored our feelings.. We wanted to know, what was this we felt for each other? Was it love or strong infatuation?

I think about you, ad all the fights we had in our heads, all the possible uncertainities, how it all just went away.

And I smile. A big smile.

I think about you all day and night. You have invaded my heart, my soul, my mind and now even my dreams, you hav been ruling all of them like a goddess over all of them.

And I am really happy to experince it.

There had always been fellows, who said things about us, but the fact was just that they were jealous of us being with each other. There were always fellows warning us about the failure of this relationship, but should it matter. When we are with each other, why should we care about the world?

I think about you and all the things people have done to create barriers between me and you, and how they failed considerably.

And I smile.

Yes I know we both are the speacial ones for each other. We both are that strenght, that hope, that trust and that.. that..LOVE for each other.

And so I think of you right, and what I feel right now ::

So close no matter how far

could'nt be much more from the heart

forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters.

And I smile....

I realise....

No , nothing else matter, or should it hardly matter.

Nothing else......but just us being together....

and YOU